the story of charleigh - part 6.....

Around 4 o'clock Sunday afternoon the official decision was made to perform a c-section. Josh was suited up in his scrubs and I had all of the other fun prep work. I was so excited. I could hardly believe in that in just a few short minutes I would get to meet my daughter for the first time. I know that for many women the prospect or reality of a c-section is heartbreaking. This just really was not the case for me. I have often told people that I truly didn't care if they took her out of my nose, I just wanted my baby. We had experienced the heartbreak of loss. We had gone through the months of hoping for that positive pregnancy test only to face a negative over and over. Our hearts' sole desire was to be parents. The birth was simply a means to an end in our book. Who cares how she got here? She was going to finally be here!!


Then word came that they had to perform a truly emergency c-section and so I had been pushed back a little. No problem. I've waited 2 1/2 years for this moment. What's one more hour? I was finally wheeled back into the operating room. I really did not know what to expect and being in the throes of labor, I didn't really think about it too much. It was so surreal to think about what they were doing. Charleigh was honestly still kicking and moving about even while they were opening me up. Dr. L even said "I think you made too good a home for her in there."


I soon heard Dr. L inform us that it was as he expected. She was "sunny side up". As in, I could have labored for a full 24 hours, dilated to 10 and this is still where we would have ended up. My kid was not going anywhere. I can actually recall my nurse putting her hand underneath me and pushing upwards while they pulled to get Charleigh unstuck.


Then I heard it.


The most beautiful sound ever.


One totally ticked off kid. And I mean TICKED OFF.


And then the tears started. I simply cried and cried and I remember looking at Josh and saying, "She's here. I can't believe she's really here."


When they brought her around for us to see, the first thing I thought was, "Wow. She has my hands." See, my hands look just like my mom's and hers look just like my grandma's. And without a doubt, at first sight, my child has the exact same hands. It's funny how that was the first thing I noticed.


She was then off with the nurse and Josh to head to the nursery while I was all stitched up. That was when more unpleasant bodily things began happening, but again, I really did not care. She was here. That was enough.


The next time I was able to see her, I was in recovery and they wheeled her in. I was shaking uncontrollably (and freaking my mom out) and I remember asking how big she was. When you were almost a 9 pounder and your husband was essentially 11 pounds, there is great fear over the size of your child. The response? 7 lbs. 3 oz. What? That's it? Oh well.


Shortly thereafter I was moved into a post-op room (read: a room about the size of a jail cell). Josh was given the duty of pushing the bassinet behind my bed. Words on a blog cannot do it justice but just imagine a grown man, a proud new daddy wheeling this cart at speeds I am not even sure could be described as moving. He was going that slow. It was by far a top 10 moment of hilarity in my life.


The next two days in the hospital flew by in a blur of visitors, pain, and getting to love on my little girl. And soon enough, we were on our way home to start our life as a family.


So often I encounter women who ask me if I am sad that I had to have her by c-section. My honest answer? Not a bit. Because I know. I know that there are worse outcomes than a healthy baby. Because really, it all boils down to the fact that when all was said and done, the miscarriage, the doctor's appointments, the shots, the million ultrasounds, the surgery, led me to one place. Getting to meet this beautiful face. And that made it all totally worth it.

And while it seems like only yesterday that this story began, here we are today.

Can you believe it? My baby is 3! And more fun each and every day......