One of my nurses was an awesome girl by the name of Jane (I think.). She was a Cal State student so even though she was "working", she spent most of the time just taking care of me. After we got in the room they had me get up onto the table. Nurses were running around like crazy everywhere and it suddenly seemed so overwhelming. Then it started. The panic. I just felt like I could not do this. No surgery, no needles, no cutting, none of it. I wanted out of there. Now.
But that was not an option. At this point, Jane stepped in and was amazing. She held my hands and asked me nonsense and unimportant questions which really helped me relax. The epidural was placed (much better and easier than I remember with Charleigh). Once it began to take effect I was laid back on the table. My arms were placed on the boards, and I remember asking the anesthesiologist if I could have something for nausea because with Charleigh I puked right after she was delivered. It was not a pleasant experience while laid out flat and unable to move. She told me that she had already given me something for it as well as something for my blood pressure. I laid there while they placed the heartrate monitors, blood pressure cuff, and did lots of other fun stuff. At one point, I asked the anesthesiologist why the baby's heartrate sounded so fast. She pointed out that that was MY heartrate, not the baby's. Oops. Right about the time that panic started to set in, Josh was allowed into the room. This did wonders to calm me down.
The time had really come. We were really going to meet our baby.
Dr. C came in and got started. I was so much more numb this time around. I really felt nothing until that moment when you feel that big tug when I knew they had pulled the baby out. Throughout the pregnancy I had been begging Josh to look over the curtain the moment the baby was delivered. I just felt that it would be so exciting for him to really see if it was a boy or a girl and what it looked like fresh out of the womb. He adamantly refused because he gets kind of queasy and was worried that it would be too gory for him. I also secretly hoped to be allowed a quick glimpse of Cereal prior to him/her being wiped off and wrapped up. The second request I mentioned to Dr. C and she had previously instructed the OR staff to lower the curtain for me.
Back to the delivery. As soon as I felt that big motion that I knew was baby being pulled out, I heard Dr. C say, "Okay Daddy, look at this! What is it?" Without any hesitation whatsoever, Josh stood up and looked over the curtain. He then looked down at me and with the most amazing sound of awe in his voice he said the most beautiful words, "It's a boy honey. We have a son." I could hear the full squealing coming from my son and then the curtain was dropped. There, right in front of me was this purple, slimy, screaming baby. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. The staff asked us if he had a name. To which we replied yes. It's Bennett.
Bennett Michael LaGore. How sweet a moment it was. We finally knew who this child was.
This sweet little surprise. This wiggleworm that played all hours of the night inside me. Cereal. This baby that Charleigh was already so in love with. Our second child. Our son. He was here. He had a name.
As with my daughter, I started to cry. Filled with such awe that God had given me the chance to be part of this miracle. The day had been so chaotic and unexpected. But those moments right before he was born and just after were so peaceful and terrific.
It was everything I could have hoped for.
He is everything I could have hoped for.
And so much more.
